I’ve had a request, via Alice, from one of my readers, CorsetJane. She wrote to Alice on Fetlife to ask what her thoughts and feelings were about our relationship and she suggested that Alice write a post. Alice spoke to me about it and I think it’s a great idea so here are her extensive views on our lifestyle (after I checked what she wrote first of course and made some ‘suggestions’).
So how do I feel? Well that depends. Obviously I enjoy what we used to call ‘the game’ – a feminisation bedroom game. Lady A has obviously gradually extended it beyond the bedroom. When Lady A introduced feminisation as a game it was really something different and exciting and I continue to be excited by it, it adds a lot to our relationship in all ways. Over this time Lady A has not only increased my feminisation and brought it into our everyday life, but gradually taken control of the marriage. This doesn’t mean she’s the aggressive type of woman you read about on other internet sites, no she leads the marriage in a very caring, loving way. That said I sometimes feel some discomfort about losing my masculinity.
Lady A is always extremely happy to see me feminised, it never seems to have worn off for her and she has never become bored with it. When I’m told to pick her up from the tube station in a dress or skirt and she gets in the car her face breaks into the widest happiest smile of pleasure although I’m feeling uncomfortable and although she’s seen me in a skirt hundreds of times; it’s nice to see her so pleased though. In fact every time I shave or remove my body hair she smiles with great pleasure and makes a supportive comment when inspecting me and looks contented. Often when I’ve made a special effort she says ‘wow’ or ‘so pretty’. When I put on a dress she loves to watch with an enormous smile. This makes me feel good. I would say it makes her extremely happy and very satisfied that I’m feminised. I like to see her happy even if I’m feeling a little strange myself about it at times.
That said, I do cringe when she calls me Alice or good girl outside the home but I’m not sure anyone has noticed yet. Even in the home I haven’t quite got used to being called a ‘good girl’, I find it embarrassing, belittling even. But she really enjoys this and never tires of calling me a girl and watching for my reaction with obvious pleasure.
Where we diverge slightly is that she is clear that she would prefer me as a girl permanently and believes this is part of the overall ‘package’ we’ve signed up to. On the other hand I would prefer to pick and choose when I’m feminised. She says I have to be female as it’s all or nothing and nothing isn’t an option any longer. She doesn’t really seem to understand my reluctance to go the whole way and she’s completely disinterested about what other peoples would think of me as a girl. She says it’s their problem. But she is aware of my reluctance and although not sure why I’m so reluctant at times, she accepts it and is (mostly) patient.
Now, in many cases I’ve learnt to prefer feminine clothing. Lady A removed all my male underwear and night clothes a long time ago and replaced them with knickers and nighties and I raised no objection as only we knew plus I preferred wearing them and I now choose to wear them. Skirts and dresses feel very nice and have a certain freedom, especially against my shaved legs but often I do want to be able to wear trousers at home sometimes and yes, be a male. However Lady A’s law is that I wear skirts or dresses only at home, that I’m a girl and I really have to comply with this. Only she is permitted trousers. Lady A is a lovely person, very friendly, loving and always happy. Except that is when I forget to put on a skirt in the morning or when coming in from outside and then I can be in big trouble. We’ve agreed that she is the boss here and I know I have to do what I’m told and that means doing what I don’t always want to or feel like. It’s a balance as after many years living as the expected Alpha Male, it’s a release to not have to.
I also have to say that we do many normal things that any married couple do. Lady A has never stopped my interests which include sport for example even though she isn’t keen herself. She says plenty of girls like football so it’s no problem.
Much of my problem is that I continue to be quite lazy as a girl, for example, removing my body hair is a pain, especially legs but Lady A insists and this will be another time when she gets very annoyed when I’ve been lax. Equally if I’m slow to change out of trousers and into a skirt or dress after being outside, she can become quite angry. It’s laziness rather than fighting it as I’m quite used to it and I know I have to follow her orders. At home I’m dressed as a girl and outside as a male although Lady A calls this a disguise and that I’m still a girl. I enjoy a quiet life and Lady A likes being in charge so it works. Don’t let me give you the impression that Lady A is often angry. instead I usually get a very gentle reminder to shave my legs or put a skirt / bra/ dress on. As soon as we come in, for example from shopping, she’ll say something as soon as we close the front door like “while you’re putting on your skirt and making yourself pretty I’ll make us a tea” or some such gentle reminder. But I know it’s a gentle order.
The problem for me is the next stage. So far my changes have been largely invisible to the outside world but I’m quite concerned about others, including family and friends, knowing what is happening. This is our current tension but to be fair she treads carefully and takes small steps at a time and is always careful that I’m not too uncomfortable with what she’s proposing. That said though when I have accepted something it becomes Lady A’s LAW and there is big trouble if I don’t follow it.
She is very caring though and really wants me to accept my position as a girl more or less willingly so she always discusses what she wants and how we can achieve it together. She says she knows she pushed too hard too soon sometimes, with the pierced ears for example and that we’ll look at it again when I’m more ready. However she is able at times to be tough to get over a sticking point. If it’s something in the home then it’s easiest for me to go along with what she wants.
She is quite open with me that she wants me to be a girl in all ways except one (thankfully). She is also a believer in Female Domination and has recently introduced a new rule which is that I must call her Mistress at home, no more can I use her first name or even ‘my Lady’ which I used to call her. As you all know I have to curtsy to her regularly and she spanks me regularly. I really don’t mind this at all as it shows her the respect she deserves and my place in the relationship. However when we’ve had a bit of an argument, as couples do, and I still have to curtsy to her when I’m sulking or she spanks me even if I think I’m in the right. These times are not comfortable.
So what’s next? She has told me she’d like much of my body hair permanently removed by electrolysis with my little triangle of pubic hair retained. She’s been mentioning this for a while and has purchased an electrolysis machine on the internet although she’s only used it for herself so far. I’m unsure about this as although it would make my life easier, if I ever had to go to the doctor’s for example, this would be embarrassing but she’s not concerned and just says that as I’m now a girl, why is it a problem? Obviously the subject of pierced ears has never gone away. I would probably agree now if I could hide the holes somehow when with friends and family. She also wants me to have a far more feminine body shape. This includes real breasts. She’s not sure how to go about this yet as she doesn’t want to use hormones obviously. She talks about it a lot though and, although she enjoys me in breast forms, she says it’s just not the same. Her thinking is to shape me with a corset which sounds uncomfortable.
I’ve asked her many times why she wants to change me into a girl. She says she just loves to see me as a girl, how it’s made me a gentler and more graceful person and that she loves the power it gives her over me and that’s that. So it seems there’s no going back for me, it’s just a question of how much further she takes me.